There is one specific person that God has for you.

And when he comes to you then you will have a wonderful marriage.

That is the kind of rhetoric I heard in my teens and 20’s as we discussed marriage in my church youth group. I realized that marriage is a choice when I had one failed marriage under my belt. I further understood this when I entered a new marriage to a person who seemingly wasn’t right for me.

Yes, marriage is a choice. It is important that you choose wisely if you’re a single woman.

How to Choose Your Husband

Choosing a husband does not mean you have to chase after a guy you think you like. It doesn’t mean you have to ask your boyfriend to marry you.

It simply means you choose who you will allow to be in your life. It means that you get to choose what characteristics you can live with forever.

If you are wondering what you should look for in a husband then check out the post on the 7 types of people you should not date or marry. This will give you clues as to what you can look for that you definitely should not want in a relationship. 

Now, once you have that down take a look at the opposite.

Since this post is about a husband being a choice let’s look at what you should choose when choosing a husband. 


The number one thing you want to look at when choosing a husband is security. Does this person makes you feel secure or insecure?

Security can fall into a number of categories.

Financial Stability

Wanting financial stability does not mean you are a gold digger. It simply means that you realize the necessity of of staying on top of your basic needs. Can your potential husband provide that for you? Is he ambitious and willing to do what it takes to keep his family going? You might know this ahead of time by the number of jobs he’s had or if he’s been in the same job consistently.

Can your potential husband follow a budget and pay bills?

Yes, this is very important when you look at the reasons why people divorce. Stress over finances is one of the reasons couples are divorcing.


Can you truly believe that your potential husband will be faithful to you? Trust is very important in a relationship. Once your trust is broken, it is difficult to reclaim the level of trust you may have had in the very beginning. Make sure this is on your list of importance.

Emotional Stability

It seems that everyone has some sort of emotional issues. I have spoken to plenty of single women that are perplexed by the emotional instability of a lot of men. I won’t go into the reasons this might be, however I will say that your potential husband should be able to be emotionally stable stable when you’re not.

Let’s face it, women are naturally more emotional then men. Yes, we tend to see things from a more emotional perspective. It doesn’t make us bad or unable to cope with life.

I take the ability to see and feel things differently as a gift. I will admit that my emotions have caused me to act weird (to say the least) when it came to making certain decisions. Thank goodness for my husband who is always able to help me see things concretely. 

Can This Person Be Secure Within

This is a biggie. If your potential husband is not able to be secure about your position at work, church, or any type of leadership then you will be facing a long road of jealously. He might say things to you like, “you don’t have to do all of that stuff when we are married. I want you home with me so we can get to know each other.” 

These words might sound like he wants to take care of you. However, it goes deeper in most cases. Its all about him not wanting you to out shine him. 

The main thing is that your position and your job should be accepted because it is apart of you. 


There are so many choices we have to make as women. I want you to make good choices in your relationships that could lead to marriage. Take an objective look at what you want in a spouse. Be realistic. Security is top priority on my list no matter how liberated I am as woman. 

What are some of the characteristics in a spouse that you are looking for? 

Marriage is all about a choice. A choice to spend your life with someone means to spend your life with everything about them. I explain more about this in the post. Click to read.

Marriage is Not Made in Heaven, It’s a Choice

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